This Scene Will Change How You Handle Conflict

There's a calm energy that makes people immediately respect you, and it can even make them back down when the stakes are high. It looks like this.

>> You're really willing to blow up this deal over 20 bucks? >> Are you? >> In this scene from Better Call Saul, Mike is acting as an enforcer in a multi-thousand-dollar drug deal. The guys paying are 20 bucks short, and Price, who's running the deal, wants to let it slide.

>> Is it all there? >> Uh we're we're short 20. $20. That's fine. >> But then Mike comes back with this.

>> Agreed amount or no deal. >> Here we have our two types of calm. Price is no problem calm. It's a small thing, we'll just move on. But Mike is no deal calm. We're not just moving on calm. He's holding the line over what seems like a small thing, and I wish that I knew this when I was younger. But

Price's style will actually get you walked over, while Mike's builds respect and makes deals work better. So watch what happens next. It's dramatized, but the beats are very similar to what can happen in real life.

>> You're serious? You're saying I intentionally shorted you? >> No, mistakes happen. >> You're really willing to blow up this deal over 20 bucks?

>> Are you? >> After a bit of pushback, Nacho meets Mike where he is, and then he disrespects Price because Price has shown him that he can. This is exactly what I had backwards for a very long time. I thought no problem calm was the answer. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. If someone's short 20 bucks or

a few hours late on a deadline, it's all good. Just be generous and give people the benefit of the doubt. Except that created consistent problems. A few hours late on one deadline would become a few more hours late on the next, and then I'd be off by a day or more, and eventually I'd be filling in for the

other person's work just trying to get things back on schedule. At the time, I was like Price chasing that $20 bill, acting like there was no problem, and just encouraging disrespect. Now, I didn't want to be a jerk or yell at anyone, so I stayed stuck for a long time. But when I finally figured out the

calm power of Mike's "Agreed amount or no deal," it had a positive effect on every relationship in my life. So, I want to share the three specifics that you can use to learn much faster than I did. First, [music] you need to be explicit in your agreements. Mikey is earlier in the episode when he's negotiating pay.

>> And now that I'm doing the job of one, I get the full 1,500. We agree upon that? >> Sure. >> A lot of times we can be vague in our expectations because we don't want to be pushy. So, I'd say something like, "Try to send this by Tuesday." But, when Tuesday passed, well, technically they

did try. And that vagueness made me feel unclear if I had the right to enforce any boundary. So, I just default to no problem. So, make sure that your agreements have three parts. What will happen, by when, [music] and the option on their end to opt in or renegotiate.