Don't Tell Comedy
Niveau C1· 406 Wörter
I know you're looking at me. You don't know what what I am, okay? I got a strange look. No one knows what this is right away.
I'm Arab. Any Arabs in here? [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> THAT'S NOT GOOD for the rest of this. >> [laughter] >> There's a lot There's not one That's statistically impossible, okay?
>> [laughter] >> There's an Arab in here going, "Not falling for that one again." >> [laughter] >> I am Arab. No one thinks that. Everyone thinks I'm Jewish or lesbian, but I uh >> [laughter] >> I'm an Arab. It's pretty awesome. I got an Arab mom and a white dad. Those are very different people, okay? Very
different. An Arab mom is never pleased. A white dad is consistently satisfied. You could say anything to an Arab parent, they'll find a way to be disappointed. You know what I mean? A white dad's always stoked. I wake up, my dad's like, "You killed that."
>> [laughter] >> Say anything to my mom she'd be upset about it. I could be like, "Mom, I want to be a nurse." She'd be like, "How about a doctor?"
>> [laughter] >> I could be like, "Mom, I want to be a teacher." She'd be like, "How about a professor?"
I could be like, "Mom, I want to be a [ __ ] stand-up comedian." She'd be like, "How about a Uber driver?"
>> [laughter] >> That ain't right. An Arab parent will make you insecure about flaws you didn't know you had, okay? I put on a blonde wig the other day. I thought that was hilarious. I FaceTime my mom. She looked at me for about 15 seconds and goes, "What the [ __ ] is wrong with your nose?"
>> [laughter] >> IT'S A WIG. >> [laughter] >> I GREW UP ARAB AND WHITE, BUT MY parents are divorced my whole life, so I did it separately.
All right? I was Arab and white just on different days. It's kind of the best way to be biracial. Now I feel like I understand both sides pretty well. You know what I mean? I'm Arab. I love the culture. I try to be a part of the culture, but I'm also half white, so I'm a little scared of it.
>> [laughter] >> I'm Arab. I know that Allahu Akbar God is great. I know that. But I'm also half white, so I know that's not what you hear.
>> [laughter] >> You guys hear God is great. I'm going to go see him and you're coming with me. >> [laughter] >> So I understand why you don't want to hear it in the terminal, but they're good people, okay?
